


On the Virtues of Reeducation

by FlitShadowflame



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, M/M, codependency and self-destructive tendencies, saarebas and the qun, these idiots in love don't know how to deal with their shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-04-10 22:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4410857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlitShadowflame/pseuds/FlitShadowflame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a <a href="http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/13890.html?thread=56904002#t56904002">kink meme prompt</a>, summarized to avoid total spoilerage:</p>
<p>Dorian is running out of ideas, and the Iron Bull refuses to talk about his emotions after becoming Tal-Vashoth (not that he was particularly open about them before).</p>
<p>So Dorian tries one last tactic, even knowing he's fighting dirty.  Of course, Dorian never did like to play fair, even when there were no stakes at all; for his Amatus, he pulls out all the stops and uses every trick he knows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Virtues of Reeducation

Dorian watches and wonders for weeks, pokes gently and then not-so-gently at the subject.

But the Iron Bull has ignored his every attempt at conversation, at least on this topic, and the man has not slept at all well in the intervening time. Dorian is beginning to lose hope.

In desperation, he tries something else.

They're in bed, something which has become rarer, since - since the Storm Coast. Bull is so self-destructive it hurts Dorian to watch, so he doesn't seek the man out as often as he did previously, and Bull is never the one to push, to initiate. Too conscious of his size and strength, of how threatening he can be even when acting friendly. Consent is important to him, and Dorian understands that now, though he had long wondered if the problem was Bull simply didn't want him as much, as intensely, as Dorian wanted Bull.

Thankfully, that is not the case.

They're in bed, and Dorian takes one of Bull's enormous hands in his own and puts it at his throat, holds it there and eyes Bull seriously. "You need to know something, Amatus," he says, his voice trembling. "You need to know - the Qun wastes nothing. You can always return, if you are willing to be reeducated, to lose everything that you are now. And you have that right. But you need to know - if you do that - that I'll follow you. I'll turn myself in, because you've taught me that ropes can be a comfort, not just a constraint. I daresay most would find it an improvement, were my tongue removed, my lips sewn shut. Everyone says I complain too much. The collar seems a fitting punishment for a former slaveowner, and perhaps I do use magic too much. Perhaps it would be better if someone else decided when I was permitted to do so."

Bull's own throat is working hard, swallowing back emotions - or words, or possibly even tears - but he lets Dorian say his peace.

"I'd go with you, because you miss it, the certainty and control. I certainly enjoy submitting to you, who's to say an Arvaraad would be any less skilled at ruling me? And don't you deserve to have that certainty, too? I know we'd likely never see each other again, Amatus, because that is not your people's way. But I'd rather be there in chains than even one mile further from you, if I was free and you had no desire for rescue."

Bull makes a wounded noise, and he tries to pull his hand away, but Dorian's grip is firm and he reinforces it with magic.

"I don't know what love is," Dorian says, voice rough from suppressed sobs. "But I don't think it means I should watch you destroy yourself. I don't know how to help you, Bull. If the Qun does, then we'll both face it, because I will follow you to the end of the world."

"Katoh," Bull chokes out breathlessly. Dorian lets go of his hand, moves to draw away as Bull usually does when a watchword is used, and is surprised to find himself pulled into a tight embrace. "Katoh. You will never be made saarebas, do you hear me? Never."

"I can't bear the thought of losing you," Dorian sobs into Bull's chest. "And they'll take _everything_ , Bull. So I'll just have to give them all of me, too."

They hold each other in ragged silence and harsh breaths, and Bull rubs Dorian's back while Dorian breathes in Bull's scent.

"Following the Qun is the only thing I've ever known," Bull sighs. "Hissrad is the only person I've ever been. The Iron Bull, the Chargers, they were parts of a cover I never intended to last so long. I'm going to lose it, Dorian, Tal-Vashoth always do."

"That's what the Qun tells you. And the Qun has a very good reason to discourage people from becoming Tal-Vashoth," Dorian points out. "You have lived far from the Qun's scrutiny for years, and madness has not touched you. You still know friend from foe. You still know innocent from evil. You underestimate yourself, Amatus."

They speak in soft voices into the long hours of the night, and sleep until noon still wrapped in each others' arms.


End file.
